Window Seats & Bike Rides
by PrevailsInDarkness
Summary: Paige McCullers has always tried to hide who she was but the road to happiness is a difficult one and only when she lets someone in does it lead her to the greatest thing she's ever discovered - Emily Fields and Love. PLL rewritten from Paige's POV (Paige Episodes - Season 1 to Present)
1. Life Trials

**A/N - This idea just came into my head so I went with it! Hope you enjoy :)**

* * *

**If at First You Don't Succeed, Lie, Lie Again**

I woke up at 6:30 sharp, just like I did every morning. It was routine, and I'd learnt to live with it. My dad was a hard man and liked everything as he wanted it. To him, I needed to be the best swimmer and the best student. I needed to be what he wanted. I had too.

"Paige," My dad called up the stairs.

"Coming," I said, quickly getting dressed before running down the stairs. When I reached the kitchen I saw my breakfast already poured out and my dad with his coffee in hand. "Morning,"

"Morning," He said. "You've got to do your best at today's practice."

"I will," I said. "I always do."

"But more so today," My dad continued. "I've got word the Emily Fields is back on the team, and we all know she was your only competition. So you've got to work hard. I don't want you losing your spot. Got me?"

"Yes, sir." I said. "I won't let that happen."

"Good, good." He said. "I hope I don't hear anything about her being better than you."

"I'd better be going." I said, finishing my cereal and hoping to stop him from going into one of his speeches. "Don't want to be late."

* * *

When I reached the pools, all the girls were excited at Emily being back. I knew she was going to be back in force so I needed to bring my A-game. We were just doing laps as we normally do, coaches timing us for every stroke. I had been swimming my hardest all practice but I could feel myself losing power. I knew Emily was in the lane next to me and that was distracting me. I knew she was better than me but it was more than that. I saw Emily climb out of the pool as I regained my breath.

"Ease up, Fields." I said, climbing out of the pool. "This is a practice, not a meet."

"Looks like somebody ate their wheaties this morning." Coach said, walking up to us. "Way to hustle Emily."

"Thanks, coach." Emily smiled.

"Paige, looks like you've got some competition." Coach said to me. A little part of me froze at that, if my dad heard the coach saying that... I dread to think what he'd do. "Emily remembers she likes to win."

"Happy to have her back." I said. And I was. I'd never been friends with Emily but she'd always been on the team and I'd always wanted to be her friend. At least thats the only way I can described the pull I got from her. "So, is this for real this time? Can we count on you for the full season?"

"Yeah. I was distracted for a while but, that's over now." Emily said.

"Okay. Good," I said walking past her. I could feel her watching me as I walked away and it made me smile before I saw my dad stood watching.

"Dad?" I said, walking over to him.

"I just came to see how Emily was doing now that she's back." My dad said. "She's better. You really need to work harder. You didn't even try out there today."

"Dad. I-" I started.

"No. No excuses." He interrupted me. "I don't want to see you buddy buddy with her either. Word is she really plays for the other team. And someone might think you're one of them if you hang around her."

"I'm not." I said, my body frozen. "One of them."

"Good. I wouldn't be able to have that." My dad said, not noticing my panic. "I'm going to talk to the Coach, I'll see you at home."

"Okay," I said watching him walk away. My eyes flickered over to Emily, she was talking to some of the other girls. I couldn't help but smile as I saw her laughing but then I stopped. Why was I thinking of her like this? Maybe my dad was.. no. No he couldn't be right. I had worked hard to push down these feelings. I wasn't about to let them come back just because Emily was back on the team. I needed to step up my game. Show Emily that she wasn't going to get my spot so easily. And to show my dad. I needed to do this.

* * *

The next day my dad had given me a bag filled with individually wrapped presents. "To win over the girls." He'd said holding it out to me. I guess his talk with coach hadn't told him what he wanted to hear. I walked into the locker room, handing out gifts as I did so.

"Girls?" I said walking further into the locker room. "Hey, everyone? Can I get everyone's attention, please? I've been thinking a lot about team spirit lately. What is spirit? And how can we create- Actually can you not open your presents until after I'm done?- Like I was saying, a leader inspires spirit. These are my gift to you to boost morale,"

"All righty, Paige," Coach said, interrupting me. "I'm sure everybody appreciates your gifts, but I want you swimming, not shopping."

I said nothing, only looking in at the bag. My dad's plan had backfired, it hadn't even been my idea and now I was coming across as only wanting to become captain.

"All right Sharks," Coach said addressing everyone. "I want you focused. Like Emily. She renewed her commitment and broke a record today! All right, ladies, lets get back to class."

Everyone left to go to class or to finish getting dressed. I just remained stood there hoping everyone would leave soon. I knew Emily was walking over to me.

"Hey, Paige." Emily said. Did she care? Did she actually care or was this my sick twisted fantasy. I'd see her and get confused but then she'd talk to me and I feel like I'm going to explode. What was wrong with me? "I just, wanted to-"

I didn't listen to her. I left the locker room. I needed to sort this out. Whatever this was, I couldn't be feeling it. It was wrong and wouldn't be accepted.

* * *

I walked into the locker room after another practice. Emily had done better than me again today. I didn't know how much longer I could get away with it. Eventually my dad would find out and I'd be screwed. I knew he'd just know and I'd face the consequences. I walked up to Emily as she was tying her shoelaces. I pulled her bra off the locker door.

"Pretty," I said holding it out to her.

"Thanks," She mumbled, grabbing it off me.

"Congratulations on your times today. First freestyle, now butterfly.. You break any more records and we'll have to test you for doping."

"Bring it on," Emily said. We made eye contact before she went back to grabbing her things out of her locker. I almost wanted too- No Paige, stop, you can't be thinking that. This is Emily we're talking about and she's a girl.

"You know, you'll have to do more than break records, if you want to become team captain." I said, my defences coming back up.

"Who said I wanted to become captain?" Emily said.

"Come on, Emily." I said. "You checked out on this team for months, and now you check back in and act like you never left? Of course you're gunnng for captain."

"I'm not gunning for anything." Emily stated.

"Good." I said. "Because being so into the breast stroke could really end up hurting you."

"What does that mean?" Emily said, turning on me.

"It means we all know what team you really play for." I said.

"You know what, Paige?" Emily said. "You need to suck it up. If you want to beat me, work harder."

And with that, she left the locker room. I don't even think I heard what she said, she'd been so close to me and my brain muddled. I know what I said was wrong but it just slipped out. All my frustration at myself, at this feelings, was getting harder to control and I was starting to take it out on everyone else. I stood up against the lockers for a long time. I don't know how long but I needed space, time away from everything.

* * *

I was walking towards my locker after my last class when Coach approached me.

"I need to see you in the locker room." Coach said. "Come as soon as you've gathered all your things."

I did exactly that and found myself walking in the locker room, I saw Emily already stood in front of Coach. Had she told? If the coach knew what I'd said then I'd definitely be off the team and I couldn't let that happen.

"You wanted to see me?" I heard Emily ask. She turned to look at me.

"Have a seat, girls." Coach said. We sat down. "An incident involving a homophobic comment has been brought to my attention. Now, we have a zero tolerance policy,"

"Coach Walton," Emily said. "Whatever happened between us, its over now."

"I need to know what happened, and then I'll decide if its over." Coach said.

I looked over at Emily. I knew she could see the pleading look in my eyes.

"There really is nothing to talk about." Emily said. I nodded at Coach.

"In that case, you can go Paige." Coach said. I got up leaving the locker room. I was about to head into the carpark when I got a text from my dad.

**'I'm not picking you up today. Do some extra laps at the pool, I don't want you back before 5.' - D**

I let out a sigh. I didn't know how much longer I could put up with the pressure. I went back into the locker room and luckily Coach and Emily had already left. I got changed into my costume and grabbed my towel I didn't waste any time diving into the pool. I just started swimming. Not really focusing on speed or anything else, just swimming. I must've been swimming for about 30 minutes when I heard someone enter the locker room. They probably weren't expecting anyone else to be in here so they weren't being quite. I climbed out of the pool and moved through the other door from the pool. I dried myself off and put on my tracksuit over my costume. I snuck back into the pool area and that's when I saw that the person was Emily. I watched her walk around the pool before diving in. She looked so beautiful like that, when no one was watching and she was in her element. I felt my heart flutter a tiny bit before the part of me that felt disgusted took over, like it always did. I turned to walk back to the locker room and that's when I saw it, the line up. I searched for my name but it wasn't there, instead Emily's was. I don't know what caused it but seeing her swim, knowing she was better than me and that my dad would be disappointed in me, made me snap. I walked over and waited till she was just about to come up. Once she was just about to break the surface, I pushed her head down. I knew she was struggling but yet I couldn't stop. She tried to come up again but I pushed her back under, again and again and again. Finally I let go and she sprang up out of the water, gasping for air.

"What the hell!" Emily shouted at me.

"I saw the lineup." I said. "I know what you're doing."

"What are you talking about?" Emily asked confused.

"Coach replaced me as the relay anchor with you." I said venom in my voice.

"So go and talk to Coach!" Emily said.

"Like you did." I shouted back. "I would never rat out a team mate because my feelings were hurt. I take care of things myself."

I got up and ran out into the parking lot. I couldn't believe I'd almost drowned her. I never wanted her to be afraid of me or to hate me. I ruin everything. I started to walk home, not caring about how long it would take. I didn't care, I needed time to think.

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**A/N - Next chapter will be up soon!**


	2. Rainy Nights & Car Rides

**A/N - Thanks for the alerts etc! :) Hope you enjoy! **

**PS. I decided to put chapter 2 & 3 together.. **

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**Je Suis Une Amie**

My dad had decided to drop me off to school this morning for swim practice. He thought riding to school every day was affecting my performance. I didn't try and correct him. My problem wasn't physical it was mental.

"Have a good practice," He said as I climbed out the car. "I want you to come home and tell me your new time, okay? Make it a good one."

"Yes, dad," I said. I was starting believe that he only cared about me doing well and nothing else. I made my way into the locker and started to get changed. I hoped I could bring back a time by dad would be proud of.

* * *

So far practice had gone really well, I was beating my own personal best's but I wasn't beating Emily. I knew I needed too otherwise I wouldn't get to be anchor. I was pushing myself as much as I could and I felt I had it when I slapped my hand against the end of the lane.

"How did I do Coach?" I asked, getting out of the pool.

"Good but you and Emily tied." Coach said, turning and following everyone else in the locker room.

"Was there a second watch?" I asked. "Was anyone else keeping time?"

"It was a tie Paige," Coach said again. "You and Emily tied."

"So what's gonna happen? Who gets to anchor tomorrow?" Emily asked.

"Can't make that decision yet." Coach said. "All right, listen up, sharks. We'll meet tomorrow morning, same place, same time and have ourselves a little swim-off."

"So, I guess we'll just figure this out tomorrow." Emily said from behind me.

"You figure it out." I said. "I need to win."

I walked away from her and started to get ready for class. I couldn't let her distract me until I won the swim off.

* * *

After dinner my dad pulled me into the sitting room as I was heading up to my room.

"You anchor yet?" He asked.

"No, I tied with Emily." I said looking at my shoes.

"Paige." He said, disappointment filling his voice.

"Its okay though. I'm going to beat her at the swim off tomorrow." I said looking at him.

"Good. I wouldn't want to have to say that a gay beat my daughter." He said, patting me on the back before walking away. I stood there for a moment. I was such a phoney. I let my dad just talk about her as if it didn't matter. But it did. I'd hid it for so long that now I don't know who I am. It didn't matter that Emily was gay and it shouldn't. But hearing my dad refer to her only by her sexuality made me scared. How would he react? React if he knew.. knew that I think I liked her. That I think I might be, one of them. That I might be gay.

* * *

After I heard my mum and dad go to bed, I crept quietly down the stairs. I was going to go and apologise to Emily. I hopped on my bike and headed towards Emily's house. It was raining but I didn't care, I needed to tell her I was sorry. The closer I got the more I realised how stupid my behaviour was. I was hating Emily for being what I couldn't, for being honest. It's not her fault I can't accept it or share it and I shouldn't take it out on her. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't push my self hate onto her. I'd be nice.. or at least act like I am actually her team mate. When I reached her house, I jumped off my bike leaving it in a heap on the ground. I went up to the front door and remembered the time and that I couldn't just knock on the door. I sent her a text, saying 'Come to the door,'. I just hoped she was awake enough to hear her phone. I don't know how long I was stood there before the door opened.

"Paige?" Emily said. Obviously surprised at seeing me on her doorstep at this hour of the night. "Are you okay?"

"No," I said. I didn't care about keeping up appearances. I was stood on her doorstep in the pouring rain for Christ's sake. Emily wasn't my father. She wouldn't judge me.

"What happened?" Emily asked.

"You have every reason to hate me." I said. I was pretty sure I was crying but I couldn't really tell since water was dripping down my face anyway. "I don't even know why I'm here."

"I don't hate you." Emily said.

"I would." I said. "I do."

"Don't say that," Emily said.

"I'm sorry Emily," I said. "I just wanted you to know that."

"Wait, Paige." Emily started but I was already running. Already fleeing from the one person who would actually understand. I hopped on my bike and just started peddling. Tears blurred my vision and I didn't realise how close I was to the curb before I hit it. I flew off the bike, rolling across the road a few times. I moved to get back up but putting weight on my wrist really hurt. I didn't think I had broken it but I knew I wasn't going to be able to swim with it. I walked my bike home and put it away in the shed. I climbed up the stairs and into bed. Tomorrow I would start over with Emily. Be her team mate, like I should've done from the beginning.

* * *

"Paige," I heard my mums voice say from the hallway as she walked past my room. "Time to wake up,"

I sat up in bed with a start. I've never slept through my alarm before. I hadn't missed practice, had I? It was then I remembered last night and how I'd hurt my wrist when I fell off my bike. I ran downstairs hopping that my dad was still here. And he was, he was stood waiting for me.

"What happened to your face?" He asked. I stopped, my face? I didn't think I'd hit my head when I hit the ground but then again, I wasn't really in the right state of mind. "Paige, I heard you come back last night. Did you fall off your bike in the rain?"

"Yes," I nodded, holding my wrist.

"Can you still swim today?" He asked, for a second I thought I saw genuine concern on his face but when I looked closer it had gone.

"I don't think so, I banged my wrist up." I said. "I'm sorry."

"You'll just have to do better next time." Dad said. "I'm going to work now. Better do something about that cut on your forehead."

"Okay," I mumbled as he walked out the door. I found a band aid in one of the kitchen drawers and put it over my cut. I went upstairs to get dressed, I checked my phone and noticed missed calls from Emily and voice mails. I didn't know what I was going to say to Emily so I just left them. I did know that I was going to go to the meet though and show Emily the support she deserves.

* * *

I walked in through the side door. I had waited so I'd be there just before Emily was going to swim. I walked past the bleachers looking for a seat. I could feel Emily's eyes watching me. I found a seat and watched as Emily climbed atop the platform. I gave her a small smile. It was as if time stopped as Emily was swimming. I knew how good she was but this was different. I'd never let myself enjoy watching her swim, I'd only ever seen her as competition. But now, I was beginning to realise she was amazing in the pool. When Emily won the race, the crowd leapt to their feet. I followed suit and started to clap. Everyone was congratulating her but she still turned, looking for me. I could only smile as we caught eyes across the room. I continued clapping, showing her that I was really only clapping for her and not the Sharks themselves.

I hung around until everyone had left. Moving off the bleachers to sit dipping my feet into one of the lanes. I wasn't sat there for long before Emily came up to me.

"You okay?" Emily asked. "You didn't return any of my calls."

"I'm fine. Its nothing." I said, touching my fingers to my forehead. "I didn't know what to say. I was riding home on my bike and totally wiped out."

"What were you thinking about?" Emily asked.

"How easy things would be if I wiped out. I'm kind of done with swimming." I admitted.

"Yeah, I used to feel that way." Emily said.

"Obviously you got over it," I pointed out. "How did you get over it?"

"I started swimming for myself. I quit trying to be better than everyone on the team, and I just relaxed." Emily said.

"Sounds fun," I said thinking on all the pressure my dad puts on me to be the best. I got up and began walking away.

"When was the last time you swam for fun?" Emily asked. I turned to face her. "Come on,"

We both took off our tracksuits, climbing onto the platform.

"One, two, three," Emily said and dived in. I dived in after her. It was nice just swimming with her. Without it being a competition or having to be better than her. We swam like this for about an hour before I climbed out of the pool. I had to get home before my dad, otherwise he'd question what I was doing. Emily was hugging the lane rope.

"I'm sorry but I have to go," I called out.

"Okay," Emily smiled. "I had fun."

"Me too," I said. "See you tomorrow?"

"Of course," Emily said. "Bye Paige."

"Bye Emily," I said. I couldn't keep the smile off my face as I headed home. Everything was starting to get better. I just hoped it stayed this way.

* * *

**Person Of Interest**

Today had been a pretty normal day. I'd gone to classes as per usual and now it was lunch time. I had just gotten lunch and was about to sit down when I saw my dad walk into the cafeteria. I hadn't seen him all morning and I didn't understand why he was here.

"I'm looking for Coach Fulton," He said, walking up to Mr Fitz.

"Is the coach expecting you?" Mr Fitz asked.

"The coach is avoiding me." Dad said. "That's what the coach is doing."

"Are you a parent?" Mr Fitz asked, standing up. I couldn't do anything but stand there and watch my dad embarrass himself.

"Yes, I'm a parent." He said. "Nick McCullers. My daughter is Paige McCullers."

I felt everyone turn to look at me and I knew Emily was looking at me. I wanted the ground to swallow me up right then.

"I have your daughter in English comp," Mr Fitz said. "I'm Ezra Fitz."

"The coach." My dad repeated.

"Tell you what," Mr Fitz said. "Why don't we walk down to the principals office and see if we can't find Coach Fulton?"

"I've seen the principal, and all I got was a lot of politically correct double-talk about the agenda in this place that's penalising my daughter, taking opportunities away from her and giving them to someone who doesn't deserve them!" My dad shouted.

"Everybody gets a fair chance here, Mr McCullers." Mr Fitz said. "We go out of our way to make sure that that's how it works."

"My girl is the best swimmer on that team, and you can't give it to somebody just because.."

"You're in a cafeteria, Mr McCullers, filled with kids trying to have lunch. I don't think that's the audience you want, is it?" Mr Fitz said interrupting my dad. The shared a look before my dad signaled for Mr Fitz to lead the way to the principals office. I left the cafeteria before anyone else could look at me. I didn't want to see Emily's hurt face. I went and ate my lunch outside, though I wasn't very hungry anymore.

* * *

After lunch I found Emily at her locker.

"Listen, I didn't know my dad was coming." I said, trying to explain to Emily that I had nothing to do with this. "He wanted to know how somebody could beat me. He wanted to know if I slacked off, but I didn't. You know I didn't. I told him we tied but you got the slot."

"Because I'm gay?" Emily said.

"No. I didn't say anything. He must have asked around." I said, not telling her that he was the one who told me in the first place. "But I didn't tell him. I swear."

"I have to go to class." Emily said walking past me. I didn't want her to hate me. I just wanted her to understand. Understand that I can't stand up to him no matter how hard I try.

After practice I was waiting around for my dad to finish up the parent teacher conferences. I noticed Emily's mom walk up to her and they seemed to be deep in conversation. Then Emily's mom spotted my dad and walked over to him.

"Nick," She said.

"Hello, Pam," My dad said.

"We need to talk." Pam said.

"I was wondering when I'd hear from you. This isn't personal. You deal with your family problems any way that you want. This is about what the school is doing to my daughter." My dad said, looking back at me. I could only sigh.

"Yeah. Its about your daughter." Pam said. "Its about you trying to make her into some kind of professional victim and using my daughter to do it."

"I didn't expect you to understand." My dad said.

"Oh, I understand." Pam said. "I understand that you always think there's someone else to blame when things don't go your way."

"Okay, you're upset.." My dad started.

"No. Not yet. But I'm getting there. My daughter never got anything she didn't earn. That's how we raised her. That is who she is. So you drop this, Nick. Drop it or I'll show you what a real agenda looks like." Pam said before storming off. Emily ran to follow her. I turned to my dad.

"I'll meet you at home." I said.

"I'll take you." He said.

"No, no you won't. I can't believe you." I said. "Please just go. You've embarrassed me enough."

"I didn't do this to embarrass you. You're better than her. I know that." He said.

"No Dad, I'm not. And you need to get over it." I said turning and heading into the parking lot. I watched Emily walk to her car before climbing into the drivers seat. I walked round the other side and hopped into the passenger seat. Emily just stared at me.

"Listen, it's like your mom said, my dad is always looking for somebody to blame." I said.

"I have to go home. My mom's waiting for me." Emily said.

"Right. Your mom's waiting." I said. What was I even doing here? Emily had everything so figured out. I wished I did. "God, why is everything so easy for you?"

"Easy? What planet do you live on? I've spent most of my life trying not to feel the way I feel." Emily started. God if only she knew how much I really did understand. "I come out, and they ship my first girlfriend off to God-knows-where, and now maybe she's done with me. So yeah, its all about Emily. All Em, all the time."

I don't know what it was. Maybe it was the events of the day or maybe it was hearing that Emily had it just as bad as me but I lost control. Control of the feelings I tried so hard to forget. I grabbed her and kissed her. It lasted for a few seconds before I remembered what I was doing. I pulled back in a panic. Emily looked shocked.

"Don't tell." I said and ran from the car. God, how could I have been so stupid. I ran for a good bit before slowing to a walk. What had I done. Now she knew, now she knew I liked her. That I'm a hypocrite for teasing her about something I was too scared to admit. It had taken me longer than expected to walk home and when I reached my house the lights were still on. I could only hope it was my mom waiting up for me. I unlocked the door before stepping inside, throwing my keys into the bowl as I made my way towards the stairs.

"Paige," I heard.

"Yes?" I turned, letting out a breath as I saw my mom walk out of the kitchen.

"Everything alright?" She asked. "Your father told me what happened. I'm sorry, you know how he gets."

"Everything is fine. I love being humiliated." I let out a snort before realising how rude I was being. I never spoke about my dad like that, at least not to my moms face. And by the look on her face she wasn't too happy. I shouldn't be taking my anger at my kissing Emily out on my mom but I couldn't not. I was seriously messed up. "I'm going to bed."

"Alright, night Paige. I do love you, you know." She smiled. I couldn't help but smile back.

"I love you too." I said, walking to my bedroom. I only hoped she'd still love me after she finds out what I am – who I am.

* * *

**A/N - Next chapter soon!**


	3. Secret Meets & Picnic Dates

**A/N - On with the story!**

**PS. Thanks to ChiaraRobbins for the review :)**

* * *

**Someone To Watch Over Me**

After that night my days became routine, each day running into the next. I had changed to swim at nights, partially because I knew Emily swam in the mornings but mostly because I was avoiding having to talk to my parents. I didn't want to be in a situation where they'd question me on what's been going on. I didn't think I'd be able to lie straight to my moms face. Emily had texted me a few times, asking to talk or if I wanted to hang with her after practice. I had ignored them all. I didn't know how to respond – I hardly spoke to anyone, let alone someone I liked or had kissed. I expected today to be the same as the one before but I realised my mistake as soon as I woke up. I had left my training gear in my locker. Such a stupid thing to do. Now I risked having to face Emily and own up to my actions. I quickly threw on some clothes before heading downstairs to race out the door.

"Paige," My dad called out. I paused on my way towards the door and turned towards the kitchen.

"Dad?" I asked, walking in. "I thought you'd be in work by now."

"I'm sure you were hoping that. I've been hearing some things. Some things about that Emily Fields and you." He said.

"What?" I said, I felt my blood turn cold. Oh God, did he really know? Its not possible, no one saw us in the parking lot. At least I didn't see anyone.

"You've been letting up on the pressure Paige, she's almost beaten all your times. I need you to train harder, you have to move above her equal. Okay?" He said.

I nodded my head in response feeling my heart start to calm down. I was being silly anyway, there was noway he could know what I'd done. "I'll work extra hard this week."

"That's my girl. I'll see you later." He left, leaving me alone in the kitchen. I had to hurry if I wanted to be at the lockers after Emily had left. I rode my bike as fast as I could without risking another accident.

* * *

I reached school 15 minutes after Emily's training finish time. I rushed into the lockers, happy to find it almost empty. I swung around towards my locker only to stop dead in my tracks. I'd miscalculated. Emily was finishing up getting dressed.

"I uh forgot my bag here last night." I said, grabbing my bag out of my locker.

"Have you been swimming at night because you know I'm here in the mornings?" Emily asked.

"It just kind of worked out that way." I said. Focusing on my bag.

Emily coughed slightly in the back of her throat. "I left you a couple of messages."

"I went to visit my aunt. She's old and sick." I said, cringing internally at how stupid and made up that sounded.

"I thought maybe you were avoiding me." Emily stated.

"No. I just-" I paused. "No."

"Okay, this is beyond awkward." Emily said. "Can we please talk about what happened?"

"There's nothing to talk about." I said. I kept eye contact with Emily and I saw something behind her eyes, it looked almost like hope.

"You kissed me, remember?" Emily said and the look in her eyes was gone.

"Emily. Just drop it." I couldn't help but scan the room, making sure no one was listening in. Emily noticed what I had done and stood back a little.

"So you want to pretend like it didn't happen?"

"Yes. Please."

Emily abruptly shut her locker.

"Consider it forgotten."

I didn't know what was going to happen but a little part of me was angry that I hadn't spoken to Emily. Instead I'd given her another reason to stay away from me. I never knew when to make things easy for myself.

* * *

I had spent the next few days thinking about what had happened with Emily and how I'd blown her off in the locker room. I was the one to initiate it so of course Emily was going to be confused and what to talk about it. I wanted to talk to her but if anyone saw us, and word got back to my dad. I couldn't bear thinking about what would happen.. how he would react. I shook those thoughts from my mind as I began forming a plan. I could get Emily to meet me somewhere off the beaten track, somewhere no one would know who we are. I smiled, this was going to work. From googling on my phone I had managed to find a place not too far from Rosewood but also far enough off the beaten track that we'd be safe. That I'd be safe. Scribbling down a message to Emily with the address, I hurried to reach her locker before the bell rang and classes ended, I didn't want anyone seeing me shoving a note into my apparent enemies locker.

* * *

I pulled up outside the bar at about 6:50. It looked different to the pictures online but I was here now and I couldn't high tail out of there after making Emily come all this way. I walked inside and made my way over to an empty booth.

"Hi, what can I get you?" A waiter said, coming over to my table.

"Uh just a lemon water, thanks." I smiled.

"Coming right up," She smiled and walked away. I fiddled with my hands as I waited for my drink.

"Here you go," The waiter placed the drink in front of me. "You here on your own?"

"Waiting for someone." I said, smiling slightly at the thought of Emily.

"Well you let me know if you need anything else." She smiled and walked off leaving me to take a sip of my drink. I checked my watch, it was almost 7. It wasn't long before I spotted Emily coming in through the doors. I lifted up my arm in wave, showing her where I was sat. She smiled and took a seat across from me.

"Do you come here a lot?" Emily asked.

"I didn't realise it was so-" I said.

"Rustic?"

"I found it online. I thought it would be-"

"Remote."

"You gonna finish all my sentences?" I asked.

"Sorry," Emily said.

"That was a joke," I said. This wasn't going as well as I had hoped.

"I was-"

"I think-" Emily started at the same time as me. "You go first."

"You were right today." I said looking at Emily. "I was avoiding you. I scared myself that night when I.."

"Kissed me?"

"There you go again," I smiled. "The first time I saw you with Maya, when I realised you were together. I finally admitted to myself that I was like you."

"Am I the first girl you've kissed?" Emily asked.

"Romantic, huh" I smiled.

"Definitely. You surprised me." Emily smiled.

"So, was Maya your first girlfriend?"

"She was." Emily nodded her head. "But she wasn't the first girl I've ever kissed."

I watched her tug at the bracelet on her wrist. Realisation dawned on me, Alison.

"I was in love with Alison." Emily admitted.

"Was she in love with you?" I asked.

"No."

"I didn't know her well but she seemed like a very dynamic person."

"She was that."

"Maya was kind of like that too, right?" I smiled.

"Yeah, I guess I like-" Emily started.

"Ballsy women." We laughed. It was nice being with Emily like this, I was almost carefree. We spent time just talking about little things, nothing too personal but still enough to get to know each other.

"I'm just going to go to the bathroom. I'll be back," Emily said walking off.

"I'll be waiting." I smiled to myself.

"Nice someone you got there," I turned to see the waitress from before smiling at me.

"Yeah, thanks." I said. I couldn't believe I'd insinuated that my meeting of Emily could've been more than just two friends meeting up for drinks.

"Karaoke is starting now, maybe you should give it a shot." She smiled. "I think you'd enjoy yourself."

"Sure, why not." I laughed and got up. The waitress lead me to where the karaoke was set up.

"This song will do the trick." She said, setting it all up. As she was going to leave, she patted my shoulder. "You have fun now."

The intro to Pink's 'So What' started playing and I smiled to myself. This was going to be fun.

"I guess I just lot my husband," I started to attempt singing along with the song. "I don't know where he went, so I'm gonna drink my money. I'm not gonna pay his rent. I've got a brand new attitude and I'm gonna wear it tonight. I'm gonna get in trouble, I want to start a fight."

Seeing Emily stood watching me gave me an idea, why should I be the only one making a fool of themselves for entertainment.

"Hey, everybody, can you help me get my friend up here to sing along?" I asked, pointing at Emily.

"No. No way." She said, already looking slight embarrassed by the attention being directed at her.

"They love you already," I said, moving to the music.

"I don't do karaoke," Emily said.

"Come on Emily, take a walk on the wild side." I said. I got another microphone as Emily made her way on stage.

"I am so gonna get you back for this," Emily said taking the microphone off me. I smiled, this meant there was going to be another time.

We both attempted to sing the song the right way but in the end it didn't really happen. When we finished the room filled with applause.

"That was nice," Emily said, pulling me down from the front.

"Yeah it was," I smiled. I saw Emily check the time.

"I'm sorry but I should probably head home." Emily said. I couldn't hide my disappointment at this night being over. "Walk me to my car?"

"Of course," I said, holding open the door to outside for Emily.

"Thank you," She said leading the way to her car. I could only follow behind. When we reached the car we both stopped. I couldn't hide my nervousness as I swiped my hair behind my ear. Except this time Emily made the move and she moved in to kiss me. I was a little surprised but once I started to get into it, Emily pulled away. Emily looked straight at me and I looked down while smiling. I was still smiling even when Emily had started driving down the road from the bar.

* * *

I woke up the next day still happy from the night before. Spending time with Emily like that had been amazing. I wanted to spend more time with her today and decided we could have a picnic off one of the hiking trails. I texted Emily.

**'Feel like a picnic?' - Paige.**

It didn't take long for Emily to send back a reply of 'Sure' and I went about putting together a picnic. I was in the kitchen gathering up a few last things when my dad walked in.

"Going somewhere?" He asked, eyeing up the picnic basket.

"Uh yes, just figured its a nice day so I'd go for a picnic." I said, packing up the rest of the food.

"On your own?" He asked, not believing what I was saying.

"Um," I stopped. Shit, I'd never thought on how I'd explain it.

"Its okay Paige, I'm glad you're finally showing an interest in boys." Dad laughed. I attempted a smile at his remark. "I won't tell your mom for now, in case this doesn't work out. Couldn't have her that excited only for it to end before its begun."

"Yeah," I said. "Well I'd better be going."

"You have fun," Dad said.

* * *

Emily had met me at the start of the trail and I'd lead the way to the spot I had chosen. I laid out the picnic blankets and we started to eat. After that I turned on some music and we lay down on the blankets. I felt Emily's hand intertwine with mine. I smiled.

"I love this band," Emily said in reference to the song currently playing.

"Me too," I said.

"They're playing in the city next month. We should go and see them."

"I'd like to but, you know.." I said, cringing internally. I hated that I couldn't be okay with going out in public with Emily but the I couldn't move past the fear I felt at thinking about it. Thinking about people knowing, my family knowing and reacting.

"What?"

"We might see people we know there. I can't risk being seen with you." I said, looking at Emily. She sat up, pulling her hand from mine.

"I thought you understood." I said.

"I so understand. Believe me, I do." Emily explained. "But hearing you say that.. ouch."

"I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." I said. "I had an amazing time last night. And I would really like to keep seeing you."

"Like this?" Emily motioned to our surroundings. "Always in the middle of nowhere, hiding?"

"Its the only way I can do it." I said.

"I'm not ashamed of who I am. But I used to be. And if we have to hide like this all the time, I'm going to start to feel that way again."

"I really like you Emily." I said, trying to get Emily to understand how I was feeling.

"I like you too." Emily said. "And I'll always be here for you. But I think it has to be as friends."

"Emily," I said.

"I'm sorry," She said.

"I'd better go home, my dad will be wondering where I am." I said, moving to put everything away as Emily got up.

"Paige," Emily said as I walked away.

"I'll see you around school," I said, attempting a smile as I turned and left.

* * *

**A/N - Next chapter soon! :)**


	4. Fake Dates & Realisation

**A/N - Thanks for all the reviews and alerts! Sorry about the delay with this chapter, enjoy!**

* * *

**Someone To Watch Over Me**

It had been almost a week since the picnic in the woods. I had been focusing on anything other than my attraction to Emily and what this now meant for me. Avoiding Emily had proven harder than expected but I was managing to do it. Though I did wonder just how much of me actually wanted Emily to cross my path. It was lunch and so far I had managed to avoid Emily for the day. I continued walking down the halls hoping that I wouldn't run into Emily. I stopped at the sound of my name and saw Sean Ackard running towards me.

"Hey Paige," He smiled.

"Yes?" I asked confused as to what Sean wanted with me.

"Uh well, I heard from Ashley that... well she said that I should um-"

"Yes?" I repeated.

"Would you like to have lunch with me?" He asked, smiling.

"Sure," I smiled. Sean was a nice boy and all the other girls always went on about how attractive he was. What harm could it do having lunch with him.

Sean led the way to the cafeteria. We lined up and got our food before walking to a table.

"Here, try this." Sean said handing me a muesli bar as we sat down.

"Apple and spice?" I asked.

"Yeah, it's really good for you." Sean explained. "Healthy. Which is nice?"

"They might help me beat my personal bests in the pool." I laughed and Sean joined in.

"That'd be awesome," He smiled. "Are you captain?"

"Yeah, I am." I said.

"Nice." He said. "I'm sure you're an amazing swimmer."

"Thank you," I said, blushing slightly from the compliment.

We spent the rest of lunch talking before we had to go to class.

"Here, I'll give you my number." Sean said, holding out his hand for my phone.

"Sure," I said giving it to him.

"I'll text you later," Sean said handing it back. "Bye,"

"Bye," I smiled.

* * *

It was a few days later and Sean had texted me a few times since our lunch together. We were going out at the end of the week, though a group of us were going so it wasn't going to be just the two of us. I hadn't thought much about Emily since then, happy to have Sean to focus on. And as happy as I was that Sean had asked me out at times it felt like it wasn't me. That while we were talking... I was having a picnic in the woods with someone else. When I had gotten to my locker that morning, Coach had ambushed me with some flyers for the swim team and being Captain made it my responsibility to staple up flyers everywhere.

"Hey,"

I turned to see Emily stood in front of me. "Hey!" I smiled.

"I, uh," Emily started. "I saw you talking to Sean the other day."

"Yeah He's nice." I said.

"Nice."

"He makes me laugh." I said. "I know it might be kind of weird. What with you being friends with Hanna and Hanna being his ex."

"That's not really the weird part, is it?" Emily asked. I blanked. Emily's comment made it hard to press down all that had happened between the bar and the picnic. I moved to pin up flyers somewhere else.

"Sean asked me about you." Emily said, following me. "He wanted to know if you were seeing anybody."

"What'd you tell him?" I asked.

"I told him as far as I knew you weren't." Emily said. "I think he wanted me to him up with you. And I'm pretty sure he's going to ask you out."

"He has." I said.

"And what'd you say?"

"I said yes." I said. "It's not really a date. We're going with a bunch of other people. No big."

"Yeah," Emily said as I turned the corner, leaving her stood on her own. Why did I feel bad for going out with Sean? I mean Emily was the one to say we should only be friends. Not that I wanted to be more... I'd already told my dad about the group "date". I couldn't back out of it now, no matter how I was feeling.

* * *

I was sat on my bed waiting for Sean to come get me for our group date. I had managed to avoid having to tell my dad who I was going out with seeing as he hadn't left his office downstairs yet. I heard the doorbell and raced to reach the front door before my dad. When I got to the stairs I realised I was too late. I could only look on as I saw my dad open the front door for Sean.

"Hi Mr McCullers, I'm here to pick up Paige," Sean smiled, standing on the porch.

"And you are?" My dad asked.

"Oh right. I'm Sean, Paige's date." Sean said.

"Uh yeah," I said, stepping down. "And we don't want to be late. Bye dad."

I pushed Sean out the door towards his car.

"Your dad seems nice." Sean said, getting into the car.

"Yeah," I said.

When we got to the cinema, no one else was outside.

"Are we meeting them here?" I asked looking around.

"Well, uh." Sean said looking slightly embarrassed, scratching his neck. "They decided to just hang out at Noels house but I wanted to still go out with you. I hope that was okay?"

"That's fine Sean," I smiled. "What are we going to see?"

"Something called Kick-Ass? It's meant to be funny." Sean said, leading us into the cinema. "And I already booked tickets."

Right. I can do this. I took in a breath as I followed behind him.

* * *

"That was actually pretty good," Sean said as we left the cinema.

"Yeah, it was. Though not as funny as you crying at the end." I laughed.

"Hey!" Sean laughed. "It was pretty sad."

"Yeah macho man, let's go. I need to be home soon." I said.

"So," I said walking up to my front door.

"I had fun." Sean said.

"Yeah, me too," I smiled.

"Do this again sometime?" Sean asked.

"Of course," I smiled.

"Guess this would be appropriate then." Sean said. Before I could ask him what he meant, he moved forward and then our lips were touching. We were kissing. I was kissing Sean. I was kissing a boy. I wasn't kissing Emily. And just like that everything came crumbling down. This wasn't me. I pulled back.

"Was that okay?" Sean asked.

"Sorry, my dad's watching. I should get inside." I said by way of explanation. Luckily Sean understood Dad's and their daughters so he backed off.

"Okay. I'll see you Monday. Bye Paige." Sean said and walked off. I watched him get in his car and once he turned the corner I pulled out my phone to text Emily.

Once I got a reply from Emily, I headed straight over to her house. She didn't say anything as she led me up the stairs to her room.

"Nice room," I said, walking into it.

"Thanks," Emily said, sitting on her bed.

"Window seat," I said. "I always wanted a room with one of those."

"You had your date with Sean?" Emily said.

"Yeah." I said all my feelings from before coming back full force. "That's where I was tonight."

"How'd it go?"

"Great. Good. He's a nice guy." I said. "Yeah, it went okay."

"Good," Emily said.

"Yeah," I said. "Until he kissed me, He took me home and kissed me goodnight. And, I don't know. The date, the whole night, just felt... phony all of a sudden, like it wasn't me – It was somebody I was watching, but not me. He went home, and I texted you."

"Sean's a nice guy," Emily said. "And if he's interested in you as more than a friend, you have to be honest with him."

"You're saying I should dump him?"

"I'm saying, you shouldn't lead him on, you have to be honest." Emily said.

"That is so easy for you to say." I said. "You're fearless."

"I am so not fearless." Emily shook her head.

"You came out." I stressed.

"I didn't come out of the closet," Emily said getting up. "I fell out – on my face. But I'm out. And whatever else happens, I don't have to worry anymore."

"If I say it out loud.." I started, swallowing back the tears. I knew that if I didn't I was going to start crying. I already felt vulnerable enough in front of Emily, I didn't think I could admit this and openly cry at the same time. "If I say.." I bit the inside of my cheek. "I'm gay. The whole world is going to change."

"Yeah. It will." Emily said.

I turned away, unable to look at Emily as I realised what this meant. I moved to sit on the window seat, my hands grasping the necklace around my neck.

"You want to hear something funny?" Emily asked.

"I would _love_ to hear something funny." I said looking at Emily.

"When I was trying to talk myself into being interested in boys, I would look for guys like you."

I laughed. "Like me how?"

"The kind that would pull me up on stage and get me to sing, because I would never do that on my own." Emily admitted. I swallowed slightly, the decision already made about what I was going to do. I moved in slowly, giving Emily time to stop anything from happening but she never did. I knew now I had made the right decision. Kissing Emily filled me with a joy I never got from anything else. I moved my hand, searching for hers. She wrapped her hands around mine and then another was on my face. She cupped my cheek before pulling away. I looked up at her face, confused and searching for an idea on what she was feeling.

"Em?" I asked. She looked at me, smiling.

"I like that," Emily said. "You calling me Em, I like how it sounds when you say it."

"Oh," I said looking down at our hands. Emily's laughter caused me to look back up.

"Don't worry. I liked the kissing too." She laughed and kissed me again. "But you should probably head home; your dad might be looking for you. I think explaining that you're at my house would be worse than just being late home."

"Yeah you're right," I sighed, getting up. "See you at school?"

"Of course," Em smiled.

I let myself out, closing the door shut behind me. I knew everything was going to change now but it still felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and on my walk home I felt more free than I had in a long time. And it felt good.

* * *

**A/N - Next chapter soon! And lets just say, Paige will be falling on her face very soon.**


	5. Monsters In The End

**A/N – Okay so I've put the rating up to M from now on. This chapter has some violence towards a minor from a parent so if this is something hard for you to read, I will put asterisk at the start and end for those who want to skip it.**

* * *

**Monsters In The End**

My latest attempt at doing something for Emily had backfired. I knew we couldn't keep this up for much longer if I was still in the closet. Our conversations always seemed to come back to it.

"Look, I really want to have that talk with my dad. I do." I said. "I even went online and looked for, like, what to say."

"You're going to come out to your parents through email?" Em asked.

"No," I said. "Sheridan prep has a campus pride group, with a website. It's not like I can go to a meeting though. Their school is like two miles from here.

"Then meet someone from the group for a coffee." Emily suggested. I paused. There was no way I could go meet someone on my own. What if my dad saw…? I wasn't that ready to have the talk. "Would it help if I went with you?"

I nodded my head yes. Happy that Emily could be so supportive.

"I'll let you know where and when?" I said, knowing I needed to head to class soon.

"Sure," Emily smiled. I pulled out my phone on the way to class. Figured I'd email them as soon as possible. I just wrote a small email, asking if someone would be able to come out to Rosewood to meet me for coffee. I was surprised at how fast I got a reply. Probably don't want to give anyone a chance to over think it and bail. And then the details were set. I was meeting someone called Samara at The Grille. I texted the details through to Emily. This was a step in the right direction.

* * *

I was going with mom to the festival. She was setting up a booth and I had promised to help her set up. It hadn't taken long for us to finish off the booth so I headed off in search of Emily. I needed to apologise for standing her up yesterday. I turned a corner and I found her. She was stood laughing with a blonde chick.

"Emily?" I asked.

"Hi," Emily said.

"Hi." I said, walking over to them.

"Uh, Paige, this is Samara from Sheridan Prep." Emily said. "Who you were supposed to meet at the Grille."

"Oh. Hi." I said to Samara. I bristled at the way Emily was looking at her. Was I jealous?

"Look, if you ever want to reschedule. Grab a coffee, talk about your dad, Emily has my cell." Samara said. And that's all it took. I felt the old Paige surface and I knew this wasn't going to end well. I looked at Emily while trying to smile.

"Um.." Samara said, holding up earrings to Emily. "Tell your friend how hot she looks in those earrings.

I didn't say anything else as I waited for Emily to leave Samara's stall. I followed her to another stall before confronting her.

"What did you tell her about me?" I asked.

"Nothing," Emily said. "I told her you were dealing with stuff. You were scared your parents would.."

"I wish you hadn't done that." I said, interrupting her. "If I didn't show up there was a reason."

"Hey,"

I stopped as I heard Samara walk up to us.

"The second you guys left, everybody suddenly got thirsty." Samara said.

"Here, for the earrings." Emily handed Samara money.

"Look, Paige, I hope it didn't seem like I was calling you out." Samara said. "I get it. We've all been there."

"I know you're trying to be nice and everything but honestly you don't even know me." I said.

"Paige!" Emily said.

"What?" I turned to her. "Sorry Emily, I'm not looking to join a club and ride down main street on a rainbow chopper."

"Actually, I drive a jeep." Samara said. "But that's beside the point."

"You know what? I'm going to take this to go." Emily said. "I've got a paper that's due. Tell your friends it was really nice to meet them."

"Emily, wait." I said, the realisation of just how rude I had been coming at me full force.

"What?" Emily said. "So you can be rude to me too? You know what Paige, this is becoming way too much drama. I don't want to be your secret."

Emily left and I turned quickly, heading for home. I started walking but then I was running. I couldn't believe I'd pushed Emily away again. This was becoming way too much.

* * *

When I got home I headed straight for the kitchen. I was surprised to find Dad sat at the table on his laptop. No wait, on my laptop. Had I closed down the tabs before closing it?

"Got something you need to say?" Dad asked.

"It's not what it looks like." I started.

"Paige, I'm not an idiot. You were looking at pride groups." He said.

"Dad,"

"No, stop right there. It was for an assignment, right?" He asked.

My laptop dinged, signalling I had an email. I panicked. Who would be emailing me?

"No, no no no." He looked at me. My blood ran cold, this was it. He knew. "If you ever want to meet up and discuss how you can come out to your parents, I would be happy too - Samara, Sheridan Prep Pride Group." He read out.

"Dad. I was going to tell you, I didn't want you to find out like this." I said. Shit. How do I do this? It wasn't meant to happen like this. Mom should be here.

"Are you doing this for attention?" He asked.

"What? Attention?" I scoffed. He didn't seriously think this was about him.

"I know I haven't been around as much but you could've just talked to me."

"Dad, I am gay. Okay that's the truth." I said. "I like girls."

He leapt up off his chair towards me. I stumbled back hitting my hip on the table top.

"You are not gay." He said right in my face. "You are not one of them. No. I won't have it."

"I didn't choose this." I tried to explain. "It's who I am."

"No," He repeated.

"Listen to me." I said. "I've been seeing Emily. This is me, I need you to understand."

"She's corrupted you. It's how they get girls to become one of them. Giving you attention, affection and anything else so that you're confused. It's okay Paige, we'll get you fixed."

"Fucking hell. Dad, I'm a lesbian." I said, now getting annoyed. The stress of what had gone down with Emily was toying with my emotions. "And I'm in love Emily."

***************  
Then something snapped in him, a fury filling his eyes. It was so unexpected what happened that I didn't quiet realise till I felt the pain echo round my skull. He had hit me. Tears sprung to my eyes and I swallowed the lump in my throat. He'd never hit me before. Sure he got angry a lot but never like this.

"You're not gay." He shouted. His fist came down into the side of my head. I lost sense of whether or not I was standing and felt myself slide to the floor. Something dropped down my face. I guess I was really crying now. Or was I bleeding? I think my dad was shouting at me again but I couldn't make anything out.

"Dad please stop." I mumbled, choking over the words. I figured since I was on the floor he couldn't do anything else but I was wrong. Air rushed out my mouth as pain shot up from my abdomen. Was he kicking me? I felt the pain again. I think he was. I'd never felt this much pain. I spat something out my mouth. Metallic. That's what it tasted like. Blood. I spat out some more. I was losing my thoughts. Was I still being kicked? I could only feel pain. When will he stop. Can't. Take. Pain. Anymore. And then I couldn't feel the pain anymore. I could only feel nothing.  
*********

* * *

"Miss?" I felt someone move me but I couldn't recognise the voice. "Miss?"

I tried to open my eyes but I was weak. Groaning I tried to move forward but only fell back down onto my side. I didn't how I'd gotten onto my side.

"I'm a paramedic from Rosewood Hospital okay. I'm here to make sure you're okay." The voice said. I managed to open my eyes and looked at the paramedic. He smiled at me. "That's good, now I need you to roll onto your back so we can get you onto the stretcher. Do you think you can manage that?"

I didn't answer instead shifting so that I could lie on my back. Wincing at the pain, the paramedics managed to get me onto the stretcher. It was then I realised who had done this to me.

"Where is he?" I asked, using whatever strength I had to talk. The paramedic looked down at me.

"He's in custody." He said. "Someone called the police, which is how we found you."

I felt myself black out again.

* * *

I opened my eyes only to find white ceiling above me. The whirring of a heart monitor let me know I was in the hospital. I felt someone grasp my hand.

"Oh sweetie. I'm so glad you're okay." Mom said. I smiled at her.

"Hi," I said. She laughed softly.

"I wish I had been there. I hate that this happened to you."

"It's okay Mum. I'm okay." I said. "I'm gay." I blurted out as an afterthought.

"Oh Paige, I've know that for a while now. Just so long as you're still my paigiekins, I don't care."

"Thanks mum," I said, resting my head back against the pillows.

"Now you get some rest." Mom said, placing a kiss on the bit of my forehead not covered in a bandage. "I'll still be here when you wake up."

**A/N - The next chapter jumps straight into Season 2 and I'll post it soon!**


	6. Friend's Again

**A/N – Sorry if this chapters seems a bit choppy. I didn't want to expand too much before getting into the nitty gritty. Double update so two chapters! Hope you enjoy :)**

* * *

**Breaking The Code**

Mom had decided after the incident that we would go stay with her parents in Ohio. They owned a farm in the middle of nowhere so it was the perfect escape. We didn't really talk much about what happened. I mean, yes I was out but mom never asked me any questions about it and my grandparents never mentioned it. Not because they thought it was disgusting but more because they didn't see the point, my grandparents had never asked me if I had any boyfriends so I doubt just the fact it'll be girlfriends instead would change that. We had been out there for a few months before we came back to Rosewood. I had emailed asking if I could be on the yearbook committee while I was away and had been doing what I could from Ohio but I would be able to do more once I got back to school. Which is exactly what I was doing, today was just a small meeting during lunch but it still felt good to be back doing something considering swim season was over. I couldn't stop watching Emily though, I had missed her, missed her smile and laugh. I sounded like a love sick puppy. I watched as Emily made her way back to her laptop. I had a plan to get to spend some time with her. I'd only just gotten back pretty recently so I hadn't had much interaction with her.

"I'm gonna walk around town later, try to get store owners to buy some ads for the program." I said, sitting at the desk across from Emily. "You wanna come?"

"I'm not really good at asking people for money." Emily said.

"Please, you're the star of the team." I pressed. "Who could possibly turn you down? Besides down that the seasons over what else do you have to do?"

"Alright. Count me in." Emily smiled.

"Cool," I said turning back to face the other girls.

* * *

We were walking back into the classroom having finished walking around visiting different store. It had gone pretty well and a few places had bought some ads. But more to the point, me and Emily were talking like friends again.

"Fiddler's Café, a hundred. Benny and Eddie's Pizza, fifty." Emily read the store receipts.

"We make a good team." I said, putting my bag down. My phone started ringing; I pulled it out of my bag answering it.

"Hey, mom," I said.

"Paige, are you home yet?" My mom asked.

"I'm still at school, just finishing up with Emily." I smiled.

"Emily? Is she someone I should know about?" Mom inquired though I could hear the smile in her voice.

"No, mom, she's just a friend." I said. "I'll be home in an hour."

"Bye sweetie." Mom said and I ended the call.

"Just a friend?" Emily asked. I turned to her.

"I came out to my parents." I said.

"You did?" Emily asked surprised. I nodded. "How did they take it?"

"They freaked out, a little." I said. I decided best to not mention how my dad had reaction. Not many people knew that he had left me and mom for a while. "Mom's been really great."

"Your dad?" Emily asked, catching the last bit.

"He didn't take it so well. He's gone away for a while." I admitted.

"Wow. That's so great. I mean, not your dad but your mom!" Emily said.

"I have you to thank for it." I said.

"Me?" Emily said. "What did I do?"

"You handled coming out so well, just made it seem possible for me to do it too." I said.

"I don't know about that." Emily blushed.

"I do." I said. "I've watched you."

"Thanks." Emily said. "I'm glad you were able to talk to your parents."

"Me too," I said. "I just wish I'd done it sooner."

Emily's phone went off, showing that she had a text.

"Um, I'm sorry." Emily said getting up. "I gotta go."

"Is that Maya?" I said. I tried to bite my tongue but it still slipped out.

"No. Here." Emily said, handing me the store receipts. "I'm really happy for you."

"Thanks." I smiled. I watched as Emily left.

* * *

I was at home in the living room with mom.

"So this Emily." Mom said. "Is she the one who made you realise you were gay?"

"Well that came from nowhere." I laughed. "But yes, she is. I've liked her since forever."

"And nothing happened?" Mom asked.

"It did but I was so far in the closet that I ruined it. That's what made me tell Dad, she'd just ended it with me. I was upset and annoyed." I explained.

"Aw Paige, I am sorry." Mom said.

"I'm over it now. Don't worry about it." I said. "So what's for dinner?"

"Take out from The Grille?" Mom asked.

"Sure. You order it in and I'll go pick it up." I said as mom went to order and I started walking to The Grille.

* * *

I was almost there when I walked into to someone. I grabbed their arms to steady them.

"Oh, Emily. Hi," I smiled when I saw it was her but stopped once I saw she was upset.

"Hey," Emily said.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Emily said.

"No, you're not." I said. "What's wrong? Em, talk to me."

"Maya and I got in a fight the other night at the party, and I haven't talked to her since." Emily said. "I don't know if she's breaking up with me or if she wants to work it out. I don't know anything 'cause she won't call me back."

"Don't you see, Em?" I said. "This is who she is. When things get tough, she bails. I know you really care about her but what you really need is someone you can count on."

"Thanks." Emily said. She moved in to hug me and I hugged her back. Oh how I had missed this. I got lost in the moment for a few seconds, just breathing in her scent. I moved in for a kiss before I could realise just what I was doing. I felt Emily jolt back. "What are you doing?"

"I-," I started. Shit. What had I done? Oh shit.

"No. I'm sorry if I made you think-," Emily said.

"No, I'm... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. Em," Emily walked away. Great, look what I'd manage to do now. I picked up my order from Grille before turning and rushing home.

I burst in through the door, pretty much throwing our food down onto the counter.

"Paige, what happened?" Mom asked knowing I was annoyed.

"I bumped into Emily and I did something stupid." I said.

"What did you do?" Mom asked, dishing out the food.

"I tried to kiss her." I said. "It was so stupid to. I shouldn't have, she was upset about her ex-girlfriend. Well I think ex-girlfriend."

"I'm sure it'll be okay. Maybe you just need to talk to her, clear everything up." Mom said.

"Yeah, maybe you're right." I agreed.

"I'm always right. Now come eat." Mom said, pulling out a chair for me.

* * *

**UnmAsked**

Today was the day of Rosewood Senior High's Masquerade Ball. Mom had bought me a very nice suit tailored just for me. I had expected her to insist on me wearing a dress but she understood now that I liked how I dressed so she'd decided to just take over whatever I was going to wear, regardless of it being a suit or a dress.

"How do I look?" I asked Mom as I came down the stairs. Mom was going to drop me off at the dance.

"You look beautiful." Mom said. "I didn't think but you do. You really really do."

"Thanks Mom," I smiled. It felt good knowing that I could look attractive dressed how I liked to dress.

As soon as I walked inside I moved to find Emily. It wasn't hard to spot her, she looked amazing. Her dress really suited her and I was having a hard time not drooling all over myself.

"Emily," I said getting her attention. "Hi,"

"Paige," Emily said. "Wow, you look very dashing."

"Thanks," I smiled. "You look very beautiful."

"Um thank you," Emily blushed.

"I was wondering if we could talk?" I asked.

"Of course Paige," Emily smiled.

We moved away from everyone else to sit at one of the tables.

"I'm sorry about the other night." I said.

"Just forget about it." Emily said.

"That's the thing; I don't want to forget about it." I said. "We have a connection. You can't deny that."

"We did." Emily said. "But I…"

"I get it. I messed it up." I said.

"You weren't ready." Emily said. "And that's okay."

"I wish I'd fought harder for you." I admitted.

"I'm sorry, Paige." Emily said.

"I didn't tell you so you'd be sorry." I explained. "I just want to be honest. And I care about you. So I'll be here for you, for whatever you need."

"I think what I need right now is a friend." Emily smiled.

"Then its official. We're friends." I smiled.

"That makes me happy." Emily said. "I should probably get back to Aria and the others. I'll talk to you soon."

"Bye Em," I smiled. Hopefully this was the start of us becoming close again, albeit as friends. But I could be that for her, for now at least.


	7. Katy Perry Date

**A/N – On with Season 3!**

* * *

**That Girl Is Poison**

It had been 6 months since the news of Maya's death had spread. Emily had been ignoring me, not that I wanted to see her mourning her ex-girlfriend anyway. We'd decided to be friends and I figured she'd need a friend to help her through this but she never messaged or talked to me. I guess after a few months of it, I hadn't wanted to run into her so I'd being making an effort not too. It sounds like a bitch move but it was my way of working. Even at school I was doing my best at not having to see her, I'd changed my class schedule and I didn't eat lunch anywhere near her or the rest of her friends. But I guess I knew I couldn't keep it up forever. I liked Emily too much for that.

I had managed to avoid her today. I hadn't seen Spencer, Aria or Hanna so I figured maybe she was off with them. I decided I'd walk across the seating area instead of going around. It was only after I'd walked into the area did I notice Emily sat on her own. I very nearly walked up to her but thought against it at the last minute. I made to move past her, hoping she hadn't seen me.

"Paige?"

Her voice made me stop. I turned to face her.

"Hey Emily, What's up?" I asked, trying to sound normal.

"I've been meaning to call you." Emily said walking towards me.

"You have? Why?" I asked.

"I was wondering if you were free tomorrow night." Emily said.

"For?" I asked.

"I got tickets to see the Katy Perry movie. Hanna's a big fan but turns out she's got other stuff going on. Boy stuff." Emily explained.

"Oh," I said.

"Come on, a behind the scenes look at miss firework. Don't you want to know what makes her sizzle? It'll be fun. You in?" Emily asked.

I paused for a second. I didn't want to seem too eager but I also didn't want to be rude.

"I guess," I said. "I haven't heard from you since..."

"I know. I've had a tonne of make-up tests to do," She said interrupting me. "And senior years been kicking my butt,"

I looked at her, thinking on what I was going to say.

"If you don't want to go," Emily started.

"No, I do. That's not it." I said. "I just thought you were avoiding me."

"I wasn't avoiding you." Emily said. "M-maybe I was but not intentionally. I've just been going through a lot and needed to figure some stuff out."

"Okay, let's do it." I smiled. "Fresh start, right?"

"Yeah." Emily smiled.

"You said tomorrow night?" I said. Emily made to answer but she was looking at something over my shoulder. I turned and smiled when I saw it was just Jenna. Emily looked surprised. "You haven't heard?"

Emily shook her head no.

"She had more surgery before school. She can see again." I explained. "I'm happy for her. It's pretty amazing. Mrs Welch was slobbering all over her in the parking lot. Text me deets about Katy Perry."

"Yeah," Emily smiled.

"See you tomorrow." I said, heading towards class. I whispered congratulations to Jenna on my way past.

"Thanks," Jenna said and I walked round the corner.

* * *

I had been waiting for Emily's text the whole day but I still never heard anything. I decided to head over to her house and see what was going on. I knocked on the door and Pam let me in.

"Emily's just upstairs getting ready." Pam said as I walked past her. I was confused as I headed up to Emily's room. I walked in as Emily was rooting through her wardrobe.

"Emily?" I said, alerting her to my presence.

"Paige!" Emily said surprised. "Did you get my text?"

"No," I said. "What text?"

"I'm being made to work at Jenna's party so I can't go out tomorrow night. I'm really sorry."

"Oh," I said, upset that we wouldn't get to hang out. "I'll just ring them and see if we can save the tickets?"

"Sure," Emily said. "That'd be great."

I took out my phone ringing the theatre. Emily continued to get dressed as I enquired about holding the tickets.

"Okay, great. Thanks," I said hanging up the phone. "They said we could use the Katy Perry movie tickets next weekend instead."

"I'm so embarrassed." Emily said. "I invite you to do something, and then I cancel."

"I'm sure it will be just as fun in seven days." I said. "Besides, I get to see you tomorrow night anyway."

"Yeah, wearing this." Emily said, holding up a clip on tie.

"You bought a clip-on tie?" I laughed.

"Kevin said the birthday girl was set on a certain look." Emily said, attempting to clip on the tie.

"Fourth grade student council?" I joked. I watched her trying to clip on the tie.

"I'm not even sure how this works." Emily said.

"Can I help?" I offered. Emily handed me to the tie and I stepped closer so that I could put it on. As we made eye contact I found it getting harder and harder to put on the tie. Being this close to Emily wasn't easy and I knew she could feel it too.

"This is harder than it looks." I said by way of explanation. Emily pulled back.

"You know what, this is too short." Emily said, as I tried to hide my disappointment at her not being so close to me anymore. "I have a real tie that I wore to a costume party. Can you check that cabinet and see if it's in there?"

"Sure," I said, moving to look through the cabinet. I could hear Emily moving behind me.

"So, were you surprised that Jenna invited you to this?" Emily asked.

"Kind of. We're not exactly chummy. We were lab partners once but she sort of scared me." I said looking over at Emily. I stopped my searching when I found a flask. I pulled it out and turned to show Emily. "Is this yours?"

"What?" Emily turned. "Oh, yeah. I-I forgot that was in there."

"It's nice." I said turning it over in my hand.

"It's a mistake." Emily said. "I mean to toss it but I was afraid my mom would find it in the garbage."

"There's still something in it." I said, shaking it.

"Paige, if you want it, it's yours." Emily said. "Really. I'm done with that."

"Okay," I said and put it into my back pocket. Tomorrow night was going to be interesting.

* * *

I had turned up to Jenna's party a little late and had to let myself in. It didn't take me long to spot Emily as she was waitressing but she was yet to spot me.

"Nice tie," I called out, causing her to stop and look over at me in surprise.

"Thanks," Emily smiled. "I can't wait to take it off."

"When you do, can you wrap it for me?" I smiled. "I forgot to bring a gift."

"I'm glad you're here." Emily laughed.

"Well," I said. "I wanted to make sure this night wasn't a complete bust for you."

Emily smiled but was soon distracted by something over my shoulder. I turned and saw that she was watching some boy enter the party.

"Who's that?" I asked.

"Nate," Emily said still watching him. "Maya's cousin."

"I'll take that," I said grabbing a drink off of the serving tray.

"I'll be back." Emily said, moving away. I turned around to face where Nate had just been and let out a sigh. I tried to fight the jealousy that was rising at her focusing so much attention on him. I don't know how long it had been before I saw Emily and Nate talking to each other. I took out the flask from yesterday and poured some into my drink. I took a long drink. I didn't think I was going to be able to deal with seeing another part of Maya around Emily. Emily still hadn't come back so I made my way towards the kitchen.

"Hey!" I said walking inside. "Need some help?"

"I wish but you can't. If my manager sees me hanging, he'll freak out."

"He wasn't upset you were hanging out with Maya's cousin?" I said unable to hide my jealousy.

"Nate?" Emily turned. "No, we weren't hanging out. We were just...it's complicated."

I could only look at Emily as if to say 'are you serious?' Before I could say anything we were interrupted by Aria running in. When she saw me she stopped.

"Hi Paige," Aria said.

"Hi," I said, slightly confused.

"What's up?" Emily asked.

"Nothing." Aria said, looking over at me. "We'll talk later."

"You know what." I said. "I'm leaving. I shouldn't really be back here anyway. It's a no-friend zone."

I walked out, not giving Emily time to respond. I walked back into the party picking up another drink on the way. I was really starting to feel the effects of what was in the flask.

About half an hour later I found myself at the cupcakes tasting all of them. I was dipping my finger in the icing and tasting them. I needed to find a coconut one.

"What are you doing?!" Jenna asked.

"Looking for a coconut," I answered as if it was the normal thing to say. "These vanilla ones are gross."

"Would you please stop?" Jenna said, looking to see if anyone was watching.

"I'm not gonna stop till I find a coconut." I said.

"Paige. Can I get you some coffee?" Emily said coming over at the sight of the commotion.

"Is she drunk?" I saw Jenna ask Emily.

"No, I'm not drunk. I'm hungry," I said. "And your cupcakes taste like old pennies."

"Paige, you and I..." Emily said, grabbing hold of my arms.

"Oh, really?" I said, pulling out of her grip. "Finally, you have time for me? All right, let's dance. Let's dance."

"I can't dance right now." Emily protested as I dragged her towards the dance floor. "I'm working."

"Fine. I'll dance by myself." I said, turning and starting to dance. It didn't take long before I lost my balance and fell crashing into a statue. I felt my head hit the ground pretty hard.

"Are you okay?" Emily asked running towards me. "Are you okay? Oh my gosh,"

I felt myself being pulled up as I pressed my fingers to my head. I was bleeding.

"Can somebody get some ice please?" Emily called out.

"Okay, everybody back up." Nate said, addressing the crowd that had gathered.

"Are you okay?" Emily asked again. "Don't move. Be careful."

"Is she one of your friends?" Nate asked.

"Girlfriend," I mumbled without realising. Luckily no one heard me.

"Yes," Emily said.

"We should get her out of here." Nate said.

"Okay, come on." Emily said, pulling me to my feet.

* * *

I don't remember much after that but I assumed they had taken me to the hospital as that was where I was now.

"You've been very lucky Miss McCullers," The doctor said, stitching up the wound on my forehead. "You could have been hospitalized... or worse."

"It was just some alcohol." I said.

"No, it was more than that. We found traces of sleeping pills in your tox screen." The doctor said before walking away. I walked back into the emergency waiting room. I smiled when I saw Emily waiting for me.

"Hey," I said walking over to her. "You didn't have to stay."

"I wanted to." Emily said. "You were in there for a long time."

"They gave me a few stitches, and they wanted to run a test." I said.

"Why?" Emily asked.

"I told the doctor how little I had to drink, and he wanted to do a tox screen." I said. "Turns out I wasn't messed up from the alcohol."

"What do you mean?" Emily said concern etched on her face.

"There were traces of milizopam in my system. It's a sleeping pill." I explained. "The doctor asked if I set my cup down at any point or drank from someone else's. Honestly, who knows? It's such a blur. I don't remember anything. I need to call my parents. My dad's gonna want to talk to the doctor."

Emily nodded her head.

"Here," I said handing her the flask back. "I don't want that on me when they get here."

I made to say something but held back at the look on Emily's face. "Bye," I said, moving to call my parents. I hoped I hadn't embarrassed myself too much at Jenna's.

* * *

**A/N - Next chapter soon! Honest :)**


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